A MINISTRY OF GLOBAL PARTNERS
The most basic unit of civilization from the beginning of time
has
been the family. It gives global humanity its form and order. Common North American, Judeo-Christian
thinking leads us to a concept of a very autonomous family-unit. We call it the
“nuclear” family. For most of us, “family” in its most basic format is Dad, Mom
and the children. One family under one
roof. There are many cases, of course,
where an aging parent spends their later days cared for by an adult son or
daughter. Grown children often spend a
few of their single years following college graduation back at home with parents. But in general, our common
thinking portrays an image of a single family in a single dwelling.
Latino families, however, think quite differently. They work
hard to keep the family together. Anglos are often shocked to find three generations
or more living under the same roof—and the amazing thing is, they do it in
relative harmony. For the Latino, it is
considered “honoring your father and mother” to allow them to live out their
final days (or as soon as they are widowed) in a son or daughter’s home. Due to financial pressures that often cause
both parents to work, many Hispanic children are primarily reared by a
grandparent. And that would be considered quite normal. It just makes sense to the Latino family to
have a trustworthy person, who will always be home, loving and caring for their
children until they get home from work.
So how do Latino family concepts differ from those of the
North American Anglo?
·
Strength in numbers. When chores can be spread around between ten or twelve
people it makes housekeeping faster and less of a burden for everyone.
·
Sharing. Having much less material wealth will often
cause needy people to pool any resources they have with what the others have,
in order to survive or live better. Well-to-do families likewise have a more communal
thinking pattern. Latinos are much more
given to readily sharing with each other than are their North American
counterparts.
·
Perspective. Just as Anglos pride themselves
in being self-sufficient enough to maintain a stand-alone one-family home,
Latinos enjoy the social closeness of multi-family households. Many Hispanics feel the North American home
setting to be somewhat cold, lonely or isolating. The idea that a mature couple,
with no children at home, would feel a need to live in a three or four-bedroom
house, can be confusing, if not amusing to a Latino.
·
Size. Although economic realities of the 21st
century have caused some Latino families to have fewer children than they did
several decades ago, you can still expect them to be larger than the average
Anglo family. Many, due to their Catholic
tradition, will not find any birth control method acceptable. Most Latina women
hold the joy of motherhood as their strongest desire in life. It is
inconceivable to most Latina women to think someone would be willing to deny
themselves such natural fulfillment for the purpose of pursuing a career, or to
be able to divide family income dollars among fewer family members.
For those of us who are Anglo, this family concept can catch
us off guard or put us in an awkward situation.
For example, we might invite the Garcia family over for dinner knowing
the couple has four children. The table is set for our family plus the six
Garcias. When the doorbell rings and we
welcome the invited guests, we may be shocked to see far more people getting
out of that mini-van than we thought we invited! It’s Mom and Dad Garcia, Grandma Garcia, the
four young children, two older married children who come with their spouses,
and the Garcia’s three grandchildren.
What happened? How did six
expected guests suddenly turn into fourteen?—and without any prior notice! What
happened is that you invited “the Garcia family.” You were thinking of the
Garcias’ nuclear family—six people. But
to them, the “Garcia family” includes everybody in their household--all
fourteen of them. They wouldn’t see any
reason you would invite the “family” and then only expect a few of the chosen. It
would be very difficult for the six Garcia family members to just drive off and
leave the others at home—how rude and unfair! And they would probably think it
a bit disrespectful and unkind to you, not bring everyone, so you could enjoy
the company of all.
Latino families are larger and more close-knit than Anglo
families. And overlapping generations
stay together longer—sometimes permanently.
What you need to know: When dealing with Latinos, make sure any
number-sensitive situations like invitations to dinner, paid admissions to
events, or the number of actual people who will be living in church-owned
housing, are very clearly stated and fully understood on the part of all involved. As Holiday Inn used to say, “The best
surprise, is no surprise at all.”
Until next time,
Tom
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